Monday, January 5, 2009

Set Apart Femininity - Chapter 5

Sacred Mystique

Femininity that Changes Men into Princes

1. Physical and Emotional Boundaries

The politics of guy friendships can be terribly confusing and even hurtful at times. Leslie has come up with an illustration, the Holy Hebrew Temple, to mirror how deep our relationships should go with different people.

Some Guidelines for Keeping Sacred Things Sacred:

The Holy of Holies: This area should never be shared with the public, even to those in your most intimate circle. This section of your life includes sexual expression, sexual touch, sexual body parts and the deepest, most personal dimensions of the heart and mind.
This most personal area of your heart, soul and body is saved for God and your spouse solely under the parameters of the holy marriage covenant.

The Holy Place: This domain also should not be shared with the public.
"Those of the most trustworthy character are allowed to share in this sacred arena. Family and intimate friends can be allowed into this holy sector if they first prove honorable and upright." The holy place includes deep personal expression (nonsexual), deeply personal touch (nonsexual) as well as deep dimensions of the heart, your hurts, vulnerabilities, fears, weaknesses, dreams, desires and longings.

The Outer Court: This section is not quite as guarded as the holy place or holy of holies, however the sacred things within this domain still deserve a good level of guardedness and protection. This includes things like friendly touch, words of specific encouragement, character endorsements, intercessory prayers, friendships with believers, the teaching and discussing of doctrine and communion.

2. Letting Guys Initiate

While you may think that your initiating a relationship with a young man is the best idea, it actually violates the pattern of our Creator's design. Our earthly relationships should mirror Christ's relationship with the Church. He is our bridegroom. 1 John 4:19 says,
"We love Him because He first loved us."
Christ initiated the relationship with us, just as earthly grooms should initiate the relationship with their bride.
"A strong, confident, heroic man who rises to the challenge of winning a woman's heart, then carefully protects and preserves his hard-won prize...this is the ultimate romantic desire of nearly every woman I have ever talked to. And yet, ironically, all too many women are actually robbing men of these very qualities, simply by their own impatience. The are in such a hurry to snag a man that they don't wait for him to initiate - they take the lead, become the pursuer instead of the pursued, and in doing so, strip their man of all the strong masculine qualities they so desire him to have."

3. Flirting

"Flirting, at its core, is based in selfishness."

Ask yourself, how your future spouse would feel if they saw you interact with the opposite sex. Proverbs 31 says that the woman of God will do her husband good and not harm all the days of her life, that includes before and after marriage. Are you doing your future husband good or harm in your conversation and manners with your guy friends?

"And remember that God is perfectly capable of bringing a relationship to you in His perfect time and way, without your using flirtatious feminine powers to manipulate the situation. If you allow Him to hold the pen and write your story, you'll be astounded at His perfect faithfulness."

1 comment:

maryswoodlandcottage said...

wonderful ... so many single women need that. It's clear and gives a good picture.